Why are so many people afraid of failure? Quite simply because no one tells us how to lead failure experience to growth.We forget that failure is part of life and that every person has the right to fail.
Most parents work hard at either preventing failure or protecting their children from it. One way is to lower standards. A mother describes her child's hurriedly-made table as "perfect!" even though it couldn't stand on uneven legs. Another way is to shift blame. If John fails the exam, his teacher is unfair or stupid.
The trouble with failure-prevention methods is that they leave a child unequipped for life in the real world. The young need to learn that no one can be best at everything, no one can win all the time it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. A child who's not invited to a birthday
party or enrolled in the baseball team feels terrible, of course. But parents should not offer a quick comfort prize or say, "It doesn't matter" because it does. The young should experience disappointment and master it.
Failure is never pleasurable. It hurts grown-ups and children exactly alike. But it can make a positive contribution to your life once you learn to use it. Step one is to ask, "Why did I fail?" Control the natural impulse to blame someone else.Ask yourself what you did wrong, how to improve. If someone else can help, don't be shy about asking them.